January 2, 2015

Auld Lang… Sigh

Amidst all the hullabaloo of Christmas, we kind of forget that another year is ending. For the past two months, commercialism invaded our minds to the extent that we had to expel all else to make room for it. Now that Christmas has released us from its clutches and we have once again rang in the New Year with lyrics we are still unsure of, we are free to return to normality. So… how many sleeps until we break our New Year’s resolutions?

Why do we even make these vows every December 31st? Is it due to some unknown brainwashing by retail companies that tell us we must keep shopping? For example, by resolving to walk more, we need to buy brand new Nike AirMax. It’s a silly tradition that is forced upon us; if we haven’t done it up until now, why should the changing of a month spur us forward? Especially since most of our resolutions are so vague, like eat more healthily. Why just for the New Year? Does this expire next January when we decide if we would like to renew the subscription?

One of the reasons we always break our promises is because we make them at the worst time imaginable. We build New Year’s Eve up as the most glamorous, champagne-soaked event in our calendar but it is rarely ever the glitz-fest we envision. It will almost certainly involve puke and tears or both. We are apparently supposed to start the year as we mean to go on. So I’m meant to spend the rest of 2015 waiting either for my coat, a taxi or a chicken burger meal? Let’s face it, we’re all a bit more sluggish and drink-addled than normal; why not pause before we promise? What good decision was ever made while experiencing The Fear?
Also, we shouldn’t make such grandiose decisions lightly, just because we feel we ought to. Peer pressure and Catholic guilt commands us to christen ourselves annually and if we don’t succeed, we will simply try again at Lent, November and oh, every Friday. We are just setting ourselves up to fail, essentially.

So if you’re still struggling to come up with a list of resolutions this week, don’t bother. If you really want to change something, you don’t need to wait for the ball to drop. That said, if you’ve eaten so many Roses that you’ve actually melted into the couch, then maybe ‘tis the season to be resolving. After all, it is January, fatty.