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January 27, 2015

Mighty Mac Meal and a Diet Coke

So you may have heard me bitch and moan about the world and its addiction to jogging. Indulgence and general piggery have taken a backseat as hardcore sprinters continue to renounce anything that doesn’t involve a race to the death. Significant Other has notched up a half-marathon whilst I am currently foraging for late-night chocolate. Although I can resonate with the dedication to regular exercise (from the safe distance of my couch), I simply cannot understand the extreme curbing of a diet for the sake of following a trend.

By now, you’ll have realised that the world has been on a bit of a health kick. It’s not just January Juicers; these fads have been ongoing for the past decade. We have always been fascinated with celebrity diets and apparently will try anything to emulate their eating habits. If Sarah Michelle Gellar loves the Cabbage Soup Diet, then surely we will too, gaining rock hard abs and instant stardom in the process. Plus, it sounds scrumptious. Other examples include the Alkaline Diet, which involves a yummy mixture of vegetables with more vegetables while the latest Paleo diet consists of Stone Age food that cavemen lived on. Because evidently we have evolved no further than that.

Poor coeliac sufferers have to endure common mugs like us pestering restaurants for gluten-free options because we think it’s better for us. Vegans have a similar situation with the soy suckers who avoid dairy; not for ethical reasons but because Gwyneth Paltrow told them to. I blame the Starbucks generation for their ridiculous low-fat-half-caff-sugar-free-extra-foam latte assumption that strangers are only delighted to tend to their whimsies. Why have we become such food snobs? I won’t even start on the ‘I don’t eat carb’ contingent. It’s the majority of the food pyramid, people!!

While there must be surely some health benefits associated with weight-watching meals, the bottom line is that extreme diets make us miserable. Snickers reminded us all that you can’t think straight if you’re hungry (no hidden agenda with them, obviously). I’m pretty sure hunger is listed as reasonable grounds for murder. Anyone who maintains The Devil Wears Prada diet is not mentally stable.

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As a long-time carbivore, I realise that a waffle sandwich is not exactly high cuisine but neither is liquid mush. Kale smoothie does not a meal make. My personal diet is entitled Eat When You’re Hungry. While this backfired somewhat on me due to my need to eat every two to three hours, it may benefit other folk that don’t plan their daily activities around feeding time. I’m not advocating a snackbox filled existence devoid of movement but I’d rather go to Supermacs once a month than a therapist.

(The title is a tribute to my health-conscious mama…you taught me well!)