A decent job. A rodent free apartment. A wage packet that doesn’t make you weep. There are so many things we hope to achieve after we exit the gilded gates of university, and justifiably so. You have put in the groundwork, endured the unpaid internships and taken the necessary steps to avoid a future behind a sandwich board. There is one significant gain however, that you may have overlooked and that, my dear pre-graduates, is weight. Yeah, that’s right. Fat. You were looking for a hefty raise and you have ended up with just the hefty part.
If your hourglass has now become the apple, fret not; it happens to the best of us. The trouble is that we feel we have already conquered the weighty trials and tribulations of college life. Remember the first-year 15? Of course you do. Your earliest Facebook pictures are the epitome of cringe. A diet of chicken fillet rolls and Devil’s Bit was only going to steer you in one direction and that was Chubbville. Were it not for a certain vegetable-conscious roommate, that 15 may indeed have been a 20 in my case. But all of this is natural and even accepted at this particular stage in your life. You are young and experiencing freedom for the very first time. Crisps as a breakfast staple clearly falls under the YOLO category. So if you’re reading this, first years – eat up! It is only now and pregnancy that society will allow for that extra chin.
However, there is a resurgence brewing for the real world when you become surrounded by all the trappings of adulthood. You are on the cusp of brilliance, standing in the dole queue or serving coffee merely as a stepping stone to greatness. This is the weighting game. You are in a state of flux (the in-betweeny stage, I like to call it) and you are unsure yet as to what path will be travelled. So you bulk up for the journey.
There is no shame in this extra layer of insulation. Some people are unable to eat when they are upset/anxious/bored but if you belong to the opposite category, welcome to my rounder world. In fairness, you were not adequately prepared for any additional stress in the wake of final year exams. You may have even believed that it would be plain sailing in the seas of early employment. But this, unfortunately, is not the case and your ladder to the stars must be diverted to an alternative galaxy. Or Milky Way. Or Twix. I’ll stop now.
Do be advised however, that I do not wish to glorify any decisions that may contribute to the eventuality of booking two seats on an aeroplane. I am merely empathising and assuring you of the comforting reality that you are not alone. Your career unfulfillment is a temporary blip on the road to a bountiful future.
But, as of today, you may have to buy new jeans.